Food in the Kitchen, First Come First Serve

It's the universally adored page: 'ExtraFoodInTheKitchen'. And it does have to be presented just like that. No details whether its leftover bagels, doughnuts or the extra birthday cake that someone just didn't want around their own house, the pager has to get the message out there as fast as possible. Otherwise all the pagees will beat them to the goodies that are waiting to be consumed.

Not so sure how it works in most other offices but within MindComet, that announcement alone is the feeding frenzy trigger. Extra food in the kitchen is the green light for common decency to fly out the window. Women and children can be mauled over with no questions asked; acts of arson, asssult and/or battery can be overlooked in the name of free food. The only rule: you must announce the good news before helping yourself- otherwise its like insider trading. And that's just unethical.