My Mug Shot

My parents recently dug up the following photo from my youth:



Yes, this is a memento from my criminal past as a child. You see, in my younger years, I smuggled black market goats from Winter Garden, Florida to Uzbekistan. It was a lucrative trade, making me enough extra cash to buy a totally pimped-out BMX bike with spinners, chrome, chameleon paint and hydraulics. Unfortunately it all came to a screeching halt one evening when the Winter Garden PD raided the abandoned warehouse that I was doing a large deal in. They confiscated my goats and hauled me in. Fortunately, since I was a minor, I was let off with community service and a paddling.

OK, so that's not the real story behind my mug shot. It was actually taken by the Winter Garden PD during a tour I took back in elementary school. I've never been arrested in my life (knock on wood). It'll stay that way, too, as long as nobody finds out about my lucrative trade in counterfeit Pokemon cards.