Bigger than a cat with half the hairballs...

So, recently I became interested in acquiring a pet; something furry to keep me company on those nights I'm not out getting down. I wasn't interested in a pet of the traditional fair. I wanted something exotic.

One day my crew (Viper, Kodiak, Trigger) and I were chatting about it when Viper commented that he fancied the leopard gecko. leopard gecko Yes, it's one of the many fine lizards that licks its own eyes for moisture. But y'know, that's not my kind of pet.

I was thinking more along the lines of a wolverine...

Y'see, someone somewhere once told me that wolverines are really sweet. So, I went off of that and did a little research.

I was interested in finding out what family of animals wolverines belonged to. They're awfully large to be gophers and way too small to be bears. As it turns out wolverines are huge weasels! As most of you know, weasels are in the same family as ferrets. And so, I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to keep one in my apartment.

And really, who wouldn't want a wolverine as a pet? They'd bring home dinner AND and make better guard dogs than...well, guard dogs.

They can even take out a moose! I mean, that's impressive! For those of you who need it spelled out...


I'm sold! Now, does anyone know where I could actually get one? Maybe Petco?