Watch Us Do Battle!

When I first got the postcard in the mail, I though it was a joke. Why would thumbs battle when we have whole bodies and robots that can do that stuff for us now?! Upon reading further I noticed that my favorite contender "Little Buddha" had qualified and made it to the final round. There was no way I could lose. I mortgaged my house and tapped into my offshore accounts for enough money to make the bet worthwhile. This was a lock. The battle began as any good fight should -- a deadlock -- until out of no where Maximus Thumbilius delivered the devastating final blow. Now I'm homeless and have to enter island golf tournaments for sticks of deodorant. No more thumb wars for me. Robots are clearly the way to go...