The Email of Shame

The company retreat has always been a catalyst for both new ideas and innovation as well as plain old spit your drink out, dance your butt off fun. For the older members of the MindComet team the outing can be particularly taxing on the body and conscience. Here is an email sent out from a senior team member the day after the cruise:

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Fellow MindCometeers,

I just wanted to apologize to everyone who saw me dancing on the retreat. I can only imagine the horror and the years of therapy it may take to have those images removed from your memories. Anyone who questions their sanity or general stability after witnessing such an event may be suffering from PTDS (Post Traumatic Dance Syndrome). Symptoms can include flashbacks, uncontrolled body tremors and a complete mental breakdown if any of the songs of that night are played within earshot.

Furthermore, if you were one of the "lucky" few I talked to after midnight on Sunday, I owe you a special apology. If I stole your drinks, cigarettes or gave you advice, I am deeply sorry.

In my own defense I can only say there was a late hit on the play. I had completely dropped my guard and was completely upended by the brilliant yet vicious unrelenting attack of shots brought to me by Ted and his accomplices (you know who you are). I landed on my head (figuratively) and watched as Ted equally deftly clocked out New-New-Guy Tim on his first night as a company employee. Tim's head made a strange sound as if he had been hit by a two-by-four and he landed on the ground next to me wearing Mark Baratelli's black cap, a smile upon his face and his tongue hanging out.

As part of MindComet's Disaster Preparedness Plan, I am now required to provide a list of warning signs that indicate you should avoid direct contact with me:

1) I am smoking
2) I am dancing
3) I am doing shots

I hope this helps you and also hope at the very least I have contributed in some small way in making this cruise a memorable experience.

-paul