Jen Speaks to Mindcomet!

(Ted, our prez, pulled a few strings and got me the interview of a lifetime: the wounded, the healing, the dumped... Jennifer Aniston! I don't know if you heard, but she's involved in a rather public break-up)

Me: So why are you talking to Mindcomet about your side of the break-up?

JA: I love your blog. I am totally doing a cakeplow my next birthday.

Me: Cool! Ted will be proud. If you get a video of it, send it our way and we'll post it.

JA: Thank you. That would be very nice.

(She starts to cry and her nose runs a little. Well, a lot.)

Me: Here's a napkin.

JA: Thanks.

Me: You're wel- oh, get that drip right there.

JA: Ok, is it- did I get it- is it?

Me: Here, Jen. Let me.

JA: Thanks.

(I get that drip, throw the napkin in a garbage can next to my desk and sit down. She clears her throat. Scott walks by and says "Akward.")

Me: So, um, how do you feel?

JA: Ugh! Everyone asks me the same questions! Think of something original. C'mon, you're supposed to be creative, fella.

(She gives me a friendly punch)

Me: Ow!

(It totally didn't hurt. i am just playing along. We do a couple laughs and then I drop my notebook. I hear the phone ring. She looks at her nails.

Scott: Akward!

Me: Scott, I am doing my best here.

Scott: I am just saying....

(Scott walks away, but even though he is all the way across the office I hear quietly in the background...)

Scott: Akward.

JA: Is that like, a running joke in the office or something?

Me: Yes. It's Scott's thing. Whenever something weird happens or someone says something off-color, he says "Akward."

JA: That's funny. Akward. I have to write that down.

Me: Yeah. Scott is full of them. if you worked here you'd hear them all.

JA: Tell me more.

Me: Ok. Dead to me.

JA: I don't get it. Explain.

Me: Like, if you answer a question of his and the answer is not what he wants to hear, he says "Dead to me."

JA: Oh that is funny. This Scott guy seems like a funny guy.

Me: He is.

JA: You two ever....?

Me: Yes. One time. But he will never admit it.

JA: Men.

Me: Right?

JA: Well, I gotta run.

Me: Thank you. Yeah i got to get to lunch. The Winderley has Taco Salad.

JA: Oh that sounds good. Can i join you?

Me: Sure. And when we get there, tell me what you think about the younger of the two ladies who work there. Some people think she is gay.

JA: Ok.

(We walk to the Winderley. We go inside. We look at the two ladies.)

JA: Oh yeah. Totally.

(I give her a friendly punch)

Me: I thought so too.